Saturday I thought the world was beautiful
I felt so close to you, I felt we’d make it -
But then on Sunday my sins finally caught up
And pulled you under water, your finger's slipped from mine.
It took no effort, forlorn like a drunk, stumbling,
To book a ticket to Saskatoon, knowing,
Chances you’d see me were lower than lightning
To hit twice - though I deserved the latter not the former.
I am sitting on some airport, surrounded by people
Faces so alien, so many different worlds, alone.
All the people in my life so far away, just emptiness.
And thus I check my phone every 10 minutes to see
If you might have changed your mind.
But no, you slipped away with Brylin or Carlin or some other wannabe - INTP.
I miss you so fucking much.
But that really hasn’t changed much since January last year.
I wish my past wouldn’t follow me like a shadow
That freezes you away from me.
I wish you and I were a team.
I wish you could see the fear in my heart to lose you.
I wish you'd hear my cry for help too.
I was afraid that what you had become because of me
Is what would stay behind.
So if I make it through this haze, then I ll be somewhere in town.
Stranded and lost without you.
But walking on your paths and touching the books you might touch
Close in the echoes of your presence—at least not nothing.
You'll think of it as pathetic and little too late.
Yet in my mind I see you running towards me
And equally, hurt, running away from me.
I miss you so fucking much.
I ll be here if you’d like to talk.
But I won’t bother you if you don’t.
I assume I won’t see you and fly home like a beaten dog.
But so be it.
As long as I see your name on the list of sponsors of the wonderful gem store.
And breathe in some particles of air that went through your bosom
I can imagine a world in which the multiverse
Had spun a story of us, you know,
With a happy ending - and nothing
Could ever pull us apart again.
Lennart